Caring for a parent or loved one while raising a family and holding down a job is a lot. If you’re feeling stretched, overwhelmed, or unsure where to start, you’re not alone,  and there is support!

This guide is written for working carers in the UK (often called the “sandwich generation”) and sets out clear, practical steps you can take today, at home, with your GP, and at work.

First steps – getting the right help in place

1) Speak to your GP
If caring is affecting your sleep, mood, appetite, or ability to cope, book an appointment. Tell your GP you’re a carer. They can:

• Record your caring role on your medical record (this helps you access carer support).
  
• Discuss your mental health and refer to talking therapies if helpful.
  
• Offer practical advice on managing stress, low mood or anxiety.
  

2) Ask for a Carer’s Assessment
Every carer in England has the right to a Carer’s Assessment via their local council. It looks at your needs (not just the person you care for) and may lead to support such as respite, help with household tasks, or carer-specific services. Search “[your council] Carer’s Assessment” to request one.

3) Connect with community services
Local carers centres, charities and community groups can offer advice, peer support, benefits guidance, and emergency planning. Look for:

• Carers centres in your area
• Alzheimer’s Society (for memory concerns)
• Condition-specific charities (e.g., Parkinson’s UK, Macmillan)
• Local support groups and respite services

Support at work – your options and your rights

Flexible working
If your role allows it, explore flexible hours, remote/hybrid working, compressed hours or adjusted shift patterns. Framing your request around outcomes (how the work will still be delivered) can help.

Reasonable adjustments
If your own health is impacted, or the person you care for has a disability, you may be entitled to reasonable adjustments (e.g. flexibility for appointments, quiet space after difficult nights, adjusted deadlines). Ask HR for your organisation’s carers policy and how to request support.

Keep the conversation going

• Let a trusted manager know you’re a carer (you decide how much to share).
• Agree how and when to check in.
• Ask for signposting to Employee Assistance Programmes, therapy, or wellbeing resources.

Everyday strategies that make a real difference

Create simple, steady routines
Predictability reduces stress. Try consistent wake/sleep times, meal plans you can rotate, and regular slots for medication or care tasks. Put key info in one place (a shared calendar or folder).

Communication that soothes
With the person you care for, use clear, calm language and one step at a time. 

With your family, agree who does what and when. 

With yourself, notice unhelpful self-talk and replace it with kinder, more realistic statements (e.g. “I’m doing my best with what I have today.”)

Boundaries and “micro-rest”
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Build in small, non-negotiable breaks – a 10-minute walk, a phone-free cuppa, breathing exercises before bed. Say “yes” to help when it’s offered, and ask for specific tasks (school run, pharmacy pick-up, a meal).

Build your support network

• List three people you can call for practical help, and three for emotional support.
• Share updates once (e.g. a family WhatsApp) to reduce admin and repeating tough news.
  Explore respite options early, even if you don’t need them yet.

When it’s all too much

If you feel persistently overwhelmed, unable to cope, or notice signs of burnout (exhaustion, irritability, brain fog, frequent illness), that’s your signal to pause and get help. Speak to your GP, your line manager or HR, and consider counselling or evidence-based therapy (CBT, trauma-informed approaches). Early support can prevent crisis.

How Talk Works can help

We provide rapid-access, evidence-based therapy for adults and clinician-led training for employers to build carer-friendly workplaces. If you’re an individual seeking support, you can self-refer. If you’re an employer, we can help you introduce practical policies, line manager training, and wellbeing support that actually works.

You’re doing a lot. It’s okay to ask for help, to make adjustments, and to put your wellbeing on the list. Small, steady steps add up, and you don’t have to take them alone.